Welcome to this post about a character archetype of puer aeternus and puella aeterna. If you don't yet know the terms, don't worry - understanding what they stand for shouldn't be any hard.
The term "puer aeternus" was first mentioned in Ovid's metamorphoses, but it's Carl Jung who adopted it to describe a psychological archetype. "Puella aeterna" is a female version of the term.
Let's read their descriptions!
PUER AETERNUS
- a man who refuses to grow up, take responsibility, and face life’s challenges - like a Peter Pan
- problems are expected to be solved by parents
- escaping into fantasy worlds, away from reality
- missing a sense of identity, leading to feelings of worthlessness
- can experience cycles of grand ambition followed by withdrawal when faced with obstacles
- struggles with discipline, long-term planning, and perseverance
- fear of mediocrity or being "trapped" in a conventional life
- how does it develop: overprotective or enabling parents, lack of consistent boundaries, excessive idealization in childhood, unresolved mother complex
PUELLA AETERNA
- youthful femininity, innocence, longing for eternal youth
- difficulty facing the realities of adult life and who seek to remain in a state of perpetual adolescence, refusing the full maturity
- heavily depends on partners for support
- deep fear of aging
- avoiding responsibility, commitment issues
- romantic idealization, leading to dissatisfaction
- always chasing novelty
- tendency to confuse passion with love, leading to instability in emotional life
- how it develops: absent father figure resulting in unresolved father complex, mother close but emotionally neglectful, fostering dependency and a need for external validation
Now you understand what the archetype is. Let's now see how you can include it in writing.
Examples:
The father of the family is a typical puer aeternus. Currently unemployed, doesn't know where to go next, instead indulges in Star Wars universe. One day he comes up with an idea to start a new business. He's hyperfocusing on it for a couple of days until he realizes he doesn't have enough finances to make it happen. He then shuts down and goes back to his Star Wars world. He also struggles with a drinking problem.
Or:
Annie is in her 30-ties, although people usually guess her to be younger. Annie has a history of intense, but short-lived relationships. She doesn't know how to be on her own, so she always searches for a new partner she could depend on. She loves going to parties and dressing up. Annie had one plastic surgery to make her face look younger. She tends to switch jobs every couple of months as no job satisfies her.
To end this post, I need to remind you that it's merely a character archetype, and you should always explore the individual more in depth, not just put a label on them. Good questions to ask would be:
→ WHY is the character the way they are?
→ HOW are they trying to get better?
→ HOW do those characteristics influence their relationships?
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