How to write romantic scenes


Romance in conversations:
→ partners often call each other: love, dear, cutie, darling, honey, my treasure, baby, babe, sweetheart
→ ...but they also typically come up with their own, often hilarious ones: "you're such a precious little goblin", "you're my favorite madman"
→ giving compliments - "I love when you plan our dates", "You're so good at cooking"
→ communicating feelings - "You're so important to me", "I'm so glad to have met you", "I miss you already"


Romance in gestures:
→ holding hands, kissing on the lips / on the forehead / on the cheeks, hugs, head pats, biting, lingering looks, blushing, weak knees, fighting in a flirty non-serious way


Elements of romance that add realism:
→ arguments, talking about problematic topics, meeting family members, sex life, plans and wishes for the future, dates, anniversaries, how are they with their friends


What is or isn't romantic can be different to different people; that's why it's always important to discuss it with your partner. Read my post on love languages as well. It's good to keep in mind characters can be of different sexualities, too.


Let's now get into the most important part - romantic tension. Let's go through a couple of quotes from "Fourth Wing" by Rebecca Yarros:


1
"His eyes flare, and then he kisses me like I’m the air he’s been missing, like his life depends on it, and I think mine just might."

2
"Fuck, that stubborn, feisty look always makes me want to kiss you.” Xaden’s expression remains bland, bored even, but his eyes heat as his gaze drops to my mouth."
“And you say this now, where people will see if you actually do.” My breath catches. 
“When did I ever give you the impression that I give a fuck what people think about me?” A corner of his mouth rises, and now it’s all I can concentrate on, damn him.

3
"The intensity in his eyes and the vehemence of his words should frighten me, but they don't. Even if this man loses every ounce of his self-control, I know he'll never hurt me. Not with his body, at least. 'Walk away or stay, but either way, I need you to stand up,' he begs."


What is the author doing here?

→ describes body language in detail - eyes flare up, his gaze drops to my mouth, intensity in his eyes

→ gets poetical - "like I'm the air he's been missing"

→ shows us character's feelings - "I know he'll never hurt me" (instead of just saying "I trust him")

→ highlights characters' personalities: both sides have very specific ways of communicating, verbally and nonverbally 


The amount of details in intimite scenes you wish to describe is totally on you; just make sure it fits with the rest of the story. Don't go into intense details just because you feel like it will sell good; subtlety can also work well. 


In romantic scenes, get into your character's head and wonder what are they feeling, fearing, hoping and desiring. Describe it all, but SHOWING is what makes the real difference. Read on body language. Think about emotions - how can you describe what the character is feeling without directly stating "he's impatient"? 


If romance isn't something you have any experience of, ask your trusted friends on their insights, and read a bunch of romance - and "Fourth Wing" is something I'd definitely recommend for it, if you enjoy a combination of fantasy and romance (I didn't know I did until I read this book).

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